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Archive for the 'Christmas' Category

Where we jump right in with the "Return of the Jedi-esqu 3rd part" of Evans fraud story, Evan gives a follow-up on the fate of hipster bear (the bag his Christmas gift came in), and Jason found more clips of Junk Man really making Lori Bakers blush. THEN we do, what may end up being, the most embarassing thing we have ever done. We each have found old tapes of our younger selves trying to be funny and they ending up being.....something.... Jason brings a clip of him alone in college, Evan brings a tape of he and a high school buddy talking in between songs of a mix tape they made.

P.S.-Kids, if you listen.... 16 year old Evan and 21 year old Jason will force you to do some sketches with them.

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Where we start with expressions of love to each other by exchanging gifts for Christmas. Then Evan shows his hatred for Jason by chastising him for negating all his verbal trickery from last week. THEN we talk about how stupid young people are for preferring the "Star Wars" Prequals to the Original Trilogy. THEN we talk "The Last Jedi" (Spoilers over at 45:13 mark)!!! After that we visit a cute little kitty who needs some love...and a GD face!! Chase No-Face is a miracle.

Then we get into the effects Bill "The Junk Man" Whaley has on DA LADEEZ... ok, well, one lady, Lori Bakker. Then we discuss the poor sucker who parkored right off the side of a 62 story building. THEN we close with a new game.... "In A Trailer!!!!" Where based on random actors and events, Jason and Evan must create a movie trailer.

See Chase No-Face Here!

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, you will get a visit in the middle of the night from a cat who wants to head butt you but doesn't have A DAMN FACE!!!!

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With Evan off this week, I, once again invite my girlfriend Miley to have fun this week! We start by looking at weird Thanksgiving foods from DELISH.COM.

Then I have Miley play the "Describe Yourself" Game, where she must find herself in 3 randomly selected annoying/awful fictional characters. Her Round 1 was, SCAR, DARTH VADER, & KIMMY GIBBLER.

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Next, Miley brought a game called, "What Would Evan Say?" She presents scenerios and I must predict what Evan might say.

Then we play another round of "Is It Stalking?"!!

And we close out with a Christmas inspired game "What's In The Bag?", where Miley presents me with different wrapped objects and I, while blindfolded, must guess what's inside. Things get messy.

Read about Weird Thanksgiving Foods HERE!

 

 

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Where with the help of Catherine Mary Furlong, all the way from jolly old England, we recount the day she surprised her dad (Bassman of "Teddy and the Bassman") by being here for Christmas!!

 

Then we get into the art of revenge (Marmite!) by having her try our snacks this time, Honey Bun's Cowtails, plus EGGNOG!

Jason shows us that the penultimate step towards Skynet is synthetic Christmas music (that pretty much sounds like any auto-tuned pop song), Catherine teaches us some English Slang, and we close with a holiday inspired bracket...this time:

 

Which Christmas Character Would Make The Best Stereotypical Gay Movie Friend!!!!
(more...)

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Happy Halloween Month!
Week 1
 
Where we start with "What if Robin Williams died while filming 'Mrs. Doubtfire'?" Then we give the perfect Halloween gift.
Evan asks, "Why does the Grim Reaper have that scythe?" 
Then Jason shows a video of the creepiest/most delicious funeral...DEAD BODY CAKE??
Evan tells a story about how an old woman thought that her racist tract would help with his dead battery. Very Christian of her.
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Then Evan realized that Kevin Bacon was in many horror movies so he brings a new game called "Bacon'ing" Where we meld together two Kevin Bacon movies (one horror/one not) and create BRAND NEW movies. "Animal Tremors" sounds pretty amazing.
 
Jason challenges Evan's Horror acumen with another "Horror Movie Quiz" this one based only on Sound Effects. 
And finally we discuss those scenes from kids movies that are ACTUALLY scary. "Wizard of Oz", "Willy Wonka", "Gremlins", "Toy Story", etc.

Watch DEAD BODY CAKE clip HERE!
P.S. - Kids, if you listen, Ghost Mrs. Doubtfire will try to reconnect with you!
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Where we start with a reminder about our ongoing Bearded Ones Fan-Girl Contest!!!

Email your submissions for the fan-girl rants to: beardedonespodcast@gmail.com
 
Then we get into Kitchen Science AND the science of deadbeat dads, Cinnamon and her honest powerball shamelessness, Star Trek and Riker saving the day...(ahem) ratings. Plus the worst line of dialogue in a great episode, and we go over the original Star Trek pilot,
 
THEN we get into less, well, good things and talk "Santa's Little Helper" and the baddest split personality wrestling team ever, then Evan professes.....something.....for Rose Mciver, and we finish off with what every good citizen needs to do when meeting a new species and being the representation of man meeting alien...beat the sh*t out of it with sticks. 

Check out Evans audible titles here:
 
 
Here's the alien article:
 
 
Don't forget to email us your audio/video for your Fan-Girl freakout to The Bearded Ones Hypothetical split to beardedonespodcast@gmail.com
 
P.S.-Kids, if you listen, we will tell a redneck that you're an alien. Sticks to the head kids, sticks to the head.
 
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Where we prepare for THE FORCE AWAKENS by crapping on the prequels......again......then Jason forces us to talk about some positives about the prequels. Evan forces us to figure out some new Darth Names. THEN we talk about the horror.....the horror....the horror...of the horrible GINGERDEAD MAN movie. And get a sneak peek into the recording booth with its star Gary Busey (aka the Gingerdead Man) and his nipple rat..... it'll make sense when you hear it.

P.S.-Kids if you listen, Gary Busey will read you a bed time story.
Do yourself a favor and Netflix Gingerdead Man yourself. 
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Where we start with another self promotion from Evan for his latest audio book on audible, links to both below (Buy them! Cmon people, it's Christmas!!! He'd buy your audio book). Then we get into the pointlessness of Black Friday, Evans latest ill fated flirt attempt, inappropriate public fatherly displays of silliness, Bunny ears in photos and how they should be condemned and punished, Jason is approached at Waffle House about a new business endeavor, a Goodwill without any "good" or "will". And we close with the news about the Bearded Villians being mistaken for ISIS and a quick Krampus movie review!

P.S.-Kids if you listen, we're taking those knuckles.
buy Evans Audio books here!!
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Episode 150!!
Where we start with a plug for Evans first audio-book, "The First Door", then we review the end of The Beard "Wars" with Salty Language Podcast. Clemson football being #1 in the country leads to us hearing a really, really honest football heckler. And because of the holidays Evan and Jason try to come up with a "Reverse Parent Trap" movie about kids trying to split up their parents so they can get 2 Christmases.

Then Jason reads a brilliant (terrible) story he wrote back in his early teens. After that, Evan goes over another Ren. Faire Adventure which leads to how certain people talk to kids and, well, just...just don't do it....

We then close out the show with medieval torture devices that leads us to a NEW GAME SHOW hosted by Louie Anderson and finally Jason tricks Evan into making one of the biggest geek mistakes with Star Wars Mad Libs, featuring Emperor Palpys audio diary!!!

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, we've got a great game show for ya!!!

Check out Evans Audiobook HERE!!
Check out Salty Language Podcast HERE!!
http://www.saltylanguage.com/
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Happy New Year Beard Fans!

In this episode we tell Christmas Stories involving animals, real and otherwise. Then we discuss the changes that occur after a dog is neutered, as well as the things he hears you do in your bedroom. We once again discover that we've gotten all excited about another fake report and discuss another one that could be just as fake, involving human/ape genetic manipulation. We get deep and nerdy about "King Krypton the Super Gorilla". And close out with a peek into the exciting life of 13 year old Jason with readings from his mandatory Language Arts Journal.

Follow us on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/beardedonespod

Kids, don't listen or Santa will forget about your pets.

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