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Archive for the 'Journals/Poems/Songs/Etc' Category

Where we begin with Evan telling tales out of school...literally....THEN Jason reads his 1993 "Letter To The Editor" from his middle school Newspaper "Panther News" from 1993. It's important.

 

We then take another trip to "Cupids Corner" AND Jason shows us what became of Jim Bakker...and it's worse than the hell he is probably going to.... THEN, from that we check out The Kevin Shorey Show and his amazing segment with our new hero...THE JUNK MAN.

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, we talkin 'bout END TIMES!!!!

 

Check out the Jim Bakker show here

 

Check out Kevin Shoreys show here

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Where we start with an amazing array of people wishing Evan a Happy Birthday with their own unique impressions!! Thank you all so much! 

THEN, we get into a-holes at their kids basketball games and Jason reads us a peom from what we on the show like to call his "Dark Years"...and by dark years we mean that one time he tried to write a downer poem.

THEN, we close out with a game sent to us by Lucky Ten Thousand co-host and friend of the show, Carissa, where we, "Play Lyrics of a Famous Song Read by a Robot and Have To Guess The Song!" 

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, that guy we talk about..... that's your Dad.

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Where we start with Jasons plug for the animated webseries he did a guest voice on, Screaming Soup, THEN Evan plugs his own depression with a poem written by him when he was young..... but still WAY too old to write something like this. But that's not all, Evan then reads from his Junior High School Year...Pack of Papers. He made his own yearbook.

 

THEN Jason brings a new game to the table... "Make a new 80s drama featuring an aged celebrity and an Occupation!" The results? I don't know, but there's murder afoot!

THEN we close out with another edition of "Cupid's Corner" (horrible dating profiles) and a lady who at least knows what she likes to do..... which is f*ck.

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, your mom will finally explain where all the facial scarring comes from.

 

See Jasons VO as Toxi here

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Where we start the NEW YEAR by doing something new and talk about Sports! Jason even predicts the winner of the College Football Championship game! (Hint Hint: Clemson) Then we realize football has a dark side...in your backside...

 

Then we get into Mark Hammill and his puppet, play another round of "SQUAD" (Evan randomly picks his Squad, then has to assign them into different scenarios). Evan brings in another insane dating profile and Jason closes out his 3rd Telephone-style written story from 1998! 

 

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen.... we have a football camp we will take you to.

 

Check out Singing in the Woods by 3rd Burrough Here

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Where we pop Jasons Cracker Cherry!! But first we talk cereal moms, "Rogue One" (spoiler talk ends at minute 29:05), we celebrate the life of Carrie Fisher with a Carrie inspired QUIZ. Evan reads a racist dating profile (but she's so loving), then we close with another one of Jason's chain stories!!!

 

We will Miss you Carrie.

Check out Evans interview for Podcasting Smarter Here

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, you will get mocked for your bubble-butts...your bubble-bubble-bubble-butts.

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Where we start with our first post 200th, post contest show with...a contest!! Featuring a song by our friends Valentine Wolfe, if you send us your best METAL MOMENT, and we pick it, you get a signed Valentine Wolfe CD!!! METAL!!!!!!

 

THEN we start the show with a text message communicating tragedy... oh and your girlfriend making out with some dude..maybe her brother....whatever. Then we get into Evans kinky heart attack, a proposal that makes us all uncomfortable...except for the chief..he loves love.... we talk about a drunk mother siting....and we finish strong with Jason reading from The Will he did at age 11 and a story he, his brother and his friend wrote together.

 

check out the proposal video here

 

and please check out Valentine Wolfe here

 

Email us your Metal Moment to beardedonespodcast@gmail.com or post to our facebook page here

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, you'll have to drag your mom home and she's not even done twerking!

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Happy Halloween Month!
Week 2

Where we start with "pride"... by that we mean, "begging for your submissions to the Evan and Jason impression contest".... we know you're out there. THEN we get into tree-babies...skeery...amateur stuntmen and their amateur ends... and how you can end a party very effectively, as long as you have no sense of what's appropriate.

 
Evan talks about "The X-Files" and how critics can get lost in their own semi-cleverness, and Jason asks the question, "Why didn't Chucky pull a "Red Paperclip" scenario in 'Child's Play'?"
 
We play a game where Jason challenges Evan to identify if these quotes are the last words of dying patients, death row convicts or "Scooby Doo" characters.
AND
Jason, once again, reads from his douchey Livejournal. This time only posts from October's past. Just a scant.... well... ten years ago. And we see how much he has matured in a decade.. because at some point, he finally learned how to drop the S-bomb.

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, Jason will give you a stern, but not cussy stern, talking to.
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Where we start with Jason's tales from the pool! And he learns that there's a fine line between a kid being a splashy dick and drowning.

 
Then we get into how apparently most Texans are gay, (hooray!!!), which leads us into a scene about a homophobe in the Star Wars Cantina.
Then Jason reads one of his old notebooks and regales us with his awesome ideas like:

- An "American Gladiators" style show..but with horses.
- A really awesome (patronizing) comedy..uh no wait...drama....no wait..gritty gangster movie...oh f*ck it, it's about losing your thumbs.
- And a new Comic Book idea about a guy with the worst power ever!
 
THEN we have a NEW BRACKET!! This time we ask the question:
"Which Comic Book Supervillian Would Make the Best Reality Talent Show Judge?"
 
Vote for us in comedy and Teddy and the Bassman in mature in the podcast awards here

AND in the Best of the Upstate (voting starts Monday june 6th) Here

P.S  -Kids, don't listen, but vote like hell!!!
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Where we start with pointless unoriginal bitchin 'bout baseball, then we get into "Captain America: CIVIL WAR" and the eternal question...has Cap gotten laid??

 
THEN we dig on 20-year-old Jason's journal, and get thoughts including...dark (if by dark you mean...not dark) poetry, a new sport he invented called Holecky (...Don't ask) and a horror movie idea to end all horror movie ideas (cause no one will make them after it) "Jo Mama"!!!
 
P.S. - Hey kids...listen and...you might conjure...The Jo Mama!
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Where we start with yet another of Jason's "brilliant" audio book ideas, then we segue into a semi-serious quiz game about the new Star Wars trailer called,

 
"How Well Do YOU Know the 'Rogue One' Trailer?"
 
After that, we watch maybe the best thing ever... brothers who care about their sister enough to convince her anesthesia-addled brain that the zombie apocalypse has begun!!!

THEN Jason reads another book report from 1990, we hear a stirring recommendation from an author who may be doing themselves more harm than good and close with another peek into the recording studio with good ole Gary Busey.
P.S.-Kids, if you listen, then we got a problem...bear.
Watch the zombie apoc. video HERE:

NOMINATE THE BEARDED ONES OR ANY OTHER NETWORK SHOWS HERE:

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