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Archive for the 'Terrifying True Stories' Category

Where we start with our first post 200th, post contest show with...a contest!! Featuring a song by our friends Valentine Wolfe, if you send us your best METAL MOMENT, and we pick it, you get a signed Valentine Wolfe CD!!! METAL!!!!!!

 

THEN we start the show with a text message communicating tragedy... oh and your girlfriend making out with some dude..maybe her brother....whatever. Then we get into Evans kinky heart attack, a proposal that makes us all uncomfortable...except for the chief..he loves love.... we talk about a drunk mother siting....and we finish strong with Jason reading from The Will he did at age 11 and a story he, his brother and his friend wrote together.

 

check out the proposal video here

 

and please check out Valentine Wolfe here

 

Email us your Metal Moment to beardedonespodcast@gmail.com or post to our facebook page here

 

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, you'll have to drag your mom home and she's not even done twerking!

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Where we do start with some election talk (we swear, it's light frothy and fun, but if you just can't take it, go to minute 28), then we talk about our live 200th show recording, our unfortunate new local "celebrity" and how he also does amazon reviews like Evan.... just more... killy. Then we mock Vin Diesel's new "XXX" movie. And Jason brings a NEW QUIZ in honor of VETERANS DAY!!

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And we close out with the sultry letters of President Warren G. Harding!

 

See Laughing Stock Improv's longform set at the New South Comedy Festival here !

 

P.S. - Kids...well we're all f*cked anyway, so just do what ya want.

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Happy Halloween Month!
Week 4

 

Where Jason and Evan decided to give Marmite a fair shake and eat it the CORRECT way. Results are…mixed. Then gooey Marmite reminds Evan of the 1988 horror movie remake, “The Blob” which leads to, “What if Marmite was a horror movie?”

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Then Evan talks about the British Horror show, “Dead Set”which is basically “Big Brother” + Zombies. We then discuss which American reality shows we would want to see mixed with the UNDEAD. Jason realizes he knows absolutely nothing about zombies. And we explore the benefits of having the zombie-inspired ability to control your severed appendages. And how they can…get you stuff.

Jason and Evan revisit last week’s topic of “Drunk Dialogue”and examine the results of their experiment.

Evan recounts his real paranormal experiences while rehearsing an Honest-to-God horror play. And then we realize that there’s nothing scarier than the jokes of a child. And something even MORE scary is that nice old man you would NEVER suspect. But you can’t blame him because you DID defile his state park!

And we close with another HALLOWEEN QUIZ! Evan blends impressions and famous horror movie quotes and Jason has to guess them, which leads to the most TERRIFYING game show called:

“Doc Brown Goes Back In Time to F***Your Mother, and It’s Up To You To Stop Him!”

 


LIVE 200th EPISODE TICKET INFO HERE!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stand-up-comedy-from-christian-rodriguez-baton-rouge-erich-laux-ann-arbor-marc-staudenmaier-tickets-28448432026

Coffee Underground (Greenville S.C.) November 4th 10:30pm set. We will be recording live after four awesome comedians, Christian Rodriguez, Erich Laux, Marc Staudenmaier, & L. Michelle! Come out for them, stay for us!!

P.S. - Kids, NSFW, if you listen, Doc Brown will invite you on his game show.

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Where we start with Jason's tales from the pool! And he learns that there's a fine line between a kid being a splashy dick and drowning.

 
Then we get into how apparently most Texans are gay, (hooray!!!), which leads us into a scene about a homophobe in the Star Wars Cantina.
Then Jason reads one of his old notebooks and regales us with his awesome ideas like:

- An "American Gladiators" style show..but with horses.
- A really awesome (patronizing) comedy..uh no wait...drama....no wait..gritty gangster movie...oh f*ck it, it's about losing your thumbs.
- And a new Comic Book idea about a guy with the worst power ever!
 
THEN we have a NEW BRACKET!! This time we ask the question:
"Which Comic Book Supervillian Would Make the Best Reality Talent Show Judge?"
 
Vote for us in comedy and Teddy and the Bassman in mature in the podcast awards here

AND in the Best of the Upstate (voting starts Monday june 6th) Here

P.S  -Kids, don't listen, but vote like hell!!!
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Episode 150!!
Where we start with a plug for Evans first audio-book, "The First Door", then we review the end of The Beard "Wars" with Salty Language Podcast. Clemson football being #1 in the country leads to us hearing a really, really honest football heckler. And because of the holidays Evan and Jason try to come up with a "Reverse Parent Trap" movie about kids trying to split up their parents so they can get 2 Christmases.

Then Jason reads a brilliant (terrible) story he wrote back in his early teens. After that, Evan goes over another Ren. Faire Adventure which leads to how certain people talk to kids and, well, just...just don't do it....

We then close out the show with medieval torture devices that leads us to a NEW GAME SHOW hosted by Louie Anderson and finally Jason tricks Evan into making one of the biggest geek mistakes with Star Wars Mad Libs, featuring Emperor Palpys audio diary!!!

P.S.-Kids, if you listen, we've got a great game show for ya!!!

Check out Evans Audiobook HERE!!
Check out Salty Language Podcast HERE!!
http://www.saltylanguage.com/
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We continue our month of creeps and crawls with more of Evans short movie reviews, then Jason leads us in another round of the new quiz game that's sweeping the nation, "I Play a Clip From a Horror Movie and You Tell Me What Horror Movie That Clip is From!!" (See if I stump Evan) Then Jason tells of some real creepy goings-on... well, sort of.... Ok, we don't actually know.... Then Evan shares a video about....ROOMS.....scary.... then we get into another edition of Evans Amazon Reviews, plus so much more!!!

P.S.-kids....the calls are coming from inside the house!
Hidden Rooms Video (courtesy of Mr Nightmare!!!)
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We bring another BEST OF EPISODE! This one kicks off our month long celebration of Halloween and Horror! 

01 - (Ep: 62) Ghost Story: Jason Bryant (2:50)
02 - (Ep: 65) Ghost Story: Shane Willimon (5:45)
03 - (Ep: 66) Proof That Ghosts Are Real (14:35)
04 - (Ep: 83) Shaboom-Shaboom! (18:15)
05 - (Ep: 89) Dracula Would Make A Terrible Bank Robber (23:50)
06 - (Ep: 94) The Walking Muppet Babies (28:00)
07 - (Ep: 97) True Crime Story: Trevor Furlong (35:50)
08 - (Ep: 98) The Night Evan Was A Zombie (38:20)
09 - (Ep: 99) Jason Sucks At Horror Movies (49:00)
10 - (Ep: 101) Manson Is Doing Better Than Us (52:00)
11 - (Ep: 104) The Devil Is A Shitty Boss (56:25)
12 - (Ep: 107) The Family Circus Had Ghost Kids (65:40)
13 - (Ep: 119) Psychic Dream: Carolyn Lee Adams (69:45)
BONUS TRACK:
14 - (Ep: 83) "Silhouettes" by: The Rays (Metal Cover Version) (74:50)

Listen to BEST OF: HALLOWEEN EDITION pt. ONE HERE!

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Where Jason recaps his adventures on Nerd Quiz Live, hosted by Michael Channing. Evan then drops some knowledge about Jack Torrance and why he and Wendy Torrance may have been having issues. Which leads us into a true crime story where we discuss, "Which movie is the best one to take your dad to after you've committed multiple murders?"


Then we get into Evans long day and how his ancestors were lazy asses, but respected lazy asses, which leads to a discussion of lazy-ass gym-rats. (Link to video below) 
We discuss minorities in film, (or lack thereof). And we close with Etta James's "Feeling Uneasy" and how sometimes, less is more, or less is less, or damn woman just say something!!!
P.S. If you listen kids, your Dad will see "Terminator Genisys", and trust us you don't want that.
Watch video of lazy-ass gym-rat eating pizza HERE!
Listen to "Feeling Uneasy" by Etta James HERE!
Check out the Nerd Quiz Live podcast HERE!
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Where Jason starts with tales of semi legendary not-so bravery, then we discuss our blog post, a grandma who has had enough and got the boobs to prove it. Then Jason gives his one-word review of "Bark Ranger". We discuss how every superhero can't be gritty, but they CAN still fuck with Aqua-Man. We breakdown a medical video and discover that switching heads is surprisingly NOT thought-out, and finally learn that every inventor ever only wanted to invent a new way to get laid.

P.S.- Kids, don't listen or we swear the JLA will cruelly prank you.
Watch the Head Transplant video HERE.
Read our blog post HERE.
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Jason sits down with Katie Holcomb, Aaron Grant, Steve Howze, and Blue (Josh Blubaugh) of the Richmond Comedy Coalition Theater, during the run of their first annual "2nd Best Comedy Fest"!

Also sitting in is Alchemy Comedy's Miguel Osornio!
We interview them about how they started their improv theater. Then get into how you shouldn't perform 1/2 written stand up ideas. Get into Blue's NYC experiences which leads to him discovering maybe the best (or worst) game ever. Then we learn all the odd ways you can make out with your girlfriend.
We share some terrifying true stories, and close out with reminiscing about amazing moments from the last 6 years of the Coalition Theater!
Follow these guys on twitter and/or tumblr!!
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