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We celebrate 400 episodes not with our highlights but with our utter failures. With the help of our great and hilarious friends Todd Janssen and Brian Reeder we go over our Bad Impressions, Joke Fails, the Dumb things we've said, & the Dumb ways we've said them. And we had so much we'll have to finish the rest next week in Part 2.

00:30 - Plug for musician Brandon James (Follow on Twitter @BRANDONHILTON) Listen to their album HERE!!

01:30 - We start with Introductions of Brian and Todd!

05:00 - Jason plays amazing "reaction clips" "...Really?", "...Oh, Wow.", "...Did we?"

14:45 - BAD IMPRESSIONS (PT. 1)

28:30 - JASON'S FLUBS FROM EP: 365 (the last episode we played bombs, with guest Todd Janssen)

34:05 - BAD IMPRESSIONS (PT. 2)

42:10 - JOKE FAILS

1:14:15 - WE'RE DUMB

1:35:15 - WE CAN'T SPEAK GOOD

Ep_400_-_Brian_Reeder_-_Todd_Janssenalu08.jpg

Listen to previous "Bombs & Flubs" on Episode 365 HERE!!

THE BEARDED ONES Ep 365: A YEAR OF THE BEARDED ONES w/TODD JANSSEN!!!!! (podbean.com)

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Listen to Brandon Hiltons album "Reborn" HERE!!

@BrandonHilton | Linktree

 

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We start with quick talk about the inauguration, and then Evan brings a clip of a PBS News Hour correspondent who lets herself go a little bit. Jason brings funny/weird business names he's seen. Evan shares more "Star Trek: TNG" episode moments; Data, like Worf, forgets all about his young new friend (Hero Worship), and how easy it is to "formulate a plan" in space (Starship Mine). And we close with another round of "MOVIE SWAP: CLASSIC WEAPONS EDITION".

00:30 - Intros and plugging our 400th episode.

01:45 - Inauguration talk and how some people thought Trump would have an 11th hour come back but....nothing. Also how being president AGES YOU so we wonder what the hell will Biden look like? We figure it out.

18:15 - PBS News Hour video with Judy Woodruff. And she lets herself go a little....

24:40 - Weird Business Names! "Spartanburg Karate: Kicking Kids", "Senior TLC", & "Cowpens: Antiques, Restaurants & Gas".

48:00 - Star Trek Re-watch funny moments. Episode "Hero Worship" & "Starship Mine". "I think they're formulating a plan."

1:02:53 - MOVIE SWAP: CLASSIC WEAPONS EDITION!! We swap Bat'lith (Star Trek) & Leg-Gun (Planet Terror), Phasers (Star Trek & Mjolnir (Thor), Shining Axe & Indy Whip.  

STAY TUNED FOR NEXT WEEK: OUR 400th EPISODE!!

Listen to more "Movie Swap" games HERE!!

https://beardedone.podbean.com/category/movie-swap-game/

 

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This week Jason tricks Evan into believing some FAKE "Star Wars" Disney+ shows. Example "Mothma", "Biggs & Wedge" plus a bunch of others. We talk the good and bad about "Star Trek: Discovery", and we close with a "Wonder Woman 1984" Predictions Quiz, with help from fellow comedy show "Language of Bromance".

00:30 - We get right into the NEW "Star Wars" shows. Jason realizes that he could say ANY SHOW and Evan would believe him. So Jason starts making up shows. 

17:30 - Evan talks "Star Trek: Discovery". The good (Michael Burnham, Season 3, New Aliens, etc) The Bad (the melodrama, the cyborg that nobody cares about, weird explanations, etc)

42:45 - Evan FINALLY catches on that Jason has been lying to his face.

44:40 - "WONDER WOMAN 84 PREDICTION QUIZ!" We also got answers from Richard and Shawn from "Language of Bromance"

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Listen to Richard & Shawn at the "Language of Bromance" HERE!!

Language of Bromance Podcast

 

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We are back! Hope you guys had a great safe Thanksgiving. Evan decided be safe and not only have Thanksgiving alone, but also in the dark without some power. We talk about that, as well as another attempt at online dating. We have an update on the "Virgin Diaries" wedding. Jason asks Evan to make up amusement park rides based on "The Mandalorian". And we close with Evan saying "Picard" should be called "Picard: F**k You Old Man!!" (And keep an eye out for our upcoming CHRISTMAS EPISODE!!)

00:30 - Intros

01:15 - Evan talks about his Thanksgiving in the dark. And his attempt at online dating story.

20:10 - Virgin Diaries UPDATE.

34:45 - "AMUSE ME: MANDALORIAN EDITION" We take classic moments from the show and turn them into amusement park rides. (Ex: Mando Vs Mudhorn as a rollercoaster)

53:50 - Evan's Star Trek Rewatch - "Picard" We discover the deep reason why everyone hates Picard, and it's to bring back universal peace. (Or something that sounds like peace.)

 

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Halloween is over but we are excited with this jam packed episode!! We talk "Star Trek", Alex Trebek's past hosting duties, awful dating profiles, plus more!

00:30 - Introductions, 400th episode preview talk.

01:45 - Election talk: Trump trying to prove fraud. What Trumps using campaign money for? His new yacht: "ReElection".

05:30 - Jason's real story about a creepy guy in a gas station parking lot.

23:45 - STAR TREK OBERVATIONS - Weird William Shatner/Avery Brooks's "Piano Interview".

37:05 - Picard is TOO INTO Tasha Yar. PLUS Picard McConaughey. 

40:05 - Hypocrite Riker can get action, but Diana Troy canNOT.

47:30 - Picard is secretly BATMAN.

54:45 - Charles Barkley is BACK for the 15th year anniversary of the passing of Mitch Hedberg. (Thanks Andrew Van of "False Start: with Andrew Van" podcast)

58:45 - Jason test's Evan! "ALEX TREBEK REAL/FAKE GAMESHOW QUIZ!!" Jason reads game show premise and Evan has to guess if it's real or one Jason made up.

1:13:10 - Evan brings more awful dating profiles in another round of CUPIDS CORNER!!

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Listen to False Start with Andrew Van Podcast HERE!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/false-start-with-andrew-van/id1455223970

Watch "William Shatner interview with Avery Brooks" HERE!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2MEYMMDhKk

New South Comedy Festival HERE!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX-gHpkIVEA&list=PLCj47pjzdVUwKzOSGVgnr0ppTKt-c0zcw

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Happy Halloween Month!
Week 4

 

Where Jason and Evan decided to give Marmite a fair shake and eat it the CORRECT way. Results are…mixed. Then gooey Marmite reminds Evan of the 1988 horror movie remake, “The Blob” which leads to, “What if Marmite was a horror movie?”

Marmite_Photo-resize_1.jpg

Then Evan talks about the British Horror show, “Dead Set”which is basically “Big Brother” + Zombies. We then discuss which American reality shows we would want to see mixed with the UNDEAD. Jason realizes he knows absolutely nothing about zombies. And we explore the benefits of having the zombie-inspired ability to control your severed appendages. And how they can…get you stuff.

Jason and Evan revisit last week’s topic of “Drunk Dialogue”and examine the results of their experiment.

Evan recounts his real paranormal experiences while rehearsing an Honest-to-God horror play. And then we realize that there’s nothing scarier than the jokes of a child. And something even MORE scary is that nice old man you would NEVER suspect. But you can’t blame him because you DID defile his state park!

And we close with another HALLOWEEN QUIZ! Evan blends impressions and famous horror movie quotes and Jason has to guess them, which leads to the most TERRIFYING game show called:

“Doc Brown Goes Back In Time to F***Your Mother, and It’s Up To You To Stop Him!”

 


LIVE 200th EPISODE TICKET INFO HERE!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stand-up-comedy-from-christian-rodriguez-baton-rouge-erich-laux-ann-arbor-marc-staudenmaier-tickets-28448432026

Coffee Underground (Greenville S.C.) November 4th 10:30pm set. We will be recording live after four awesome comedians, Christian Rodriguez, Erich Laux, Marc Staudenmaier, & L. Michelle! Come out for them, stay for us!!

P.S. - Kids, NSFW, if you listen, Doc Brown will invite you on his game show.

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Happy Halloween Month!
Week 3

Where Jason gives Evan a run down of his Mwaa Haa Haaas over the past few Halloween episodes, and then Evan gives Jason a taste of Jolly Ole England (thanks Catherine)!!! Then Jason gives Evan another Horror Quiz, this time slowed down!!!! Then Evan brings another bracket to the table, this time, we ask the question, "Which Fallen Pop Culture Icon would make the best Horror Movie Villain?"!!!

P.S.-Kids, if you listen.... there is a thing...it is called... MARMITE!!!!

Don't forget to email your impressions/scripts to beardedonespodcast@gmail.com!!!

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Where we start with creepy talk of stupid hunters telling BS stories, then we seque into terrifying tales of middle aged women (even cute ones), ruminate on Return of the Living Dead (hi beverly!), then we get into real life tragedies…. or minor inconveniences….. terrifying tales of children's hosts gone bad, how your family loves you, but loves your stuff more, and then finish with the legend that is…. the shortest lived and most polite metal(not really) band ever!!!!!!!!!!! MMWWAAA HHAAA HHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

 
 
P.S. Thanks a-hole Wofford Jones!!!
 
P.S.S.-though not mentioned in this episode, pls pls pls check out our good friend Mary Beth Smiths podcast MBSING on pod bean. It rocks. She rocks. We all rock. Podcasters unite!!!
 
P.S.S.S-though not previously mentioned, don't let your little a-holes listen to this. skeery.

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